It’s Time to take the “L”

woman wearing black off shoulder long sleeved top
Photo by Pasha Gray on

I’ve always been told that giving up is not an option. I mean, quitters never win and winners never quit, right? So, you press and push your way in hopes of gaining ground. The resistance is overwhelming, but you don’t give up. Frustrated beyond measure, but you don’t give in. There’s a voice in your head saying, “Don’t let go, hold on with all you’ve got.” Everything in you is saying, “It’s time to let go.” Fear keeps you holding on.

Fear that if you let go, all of your struggles would have been for nothing. The anxiety that if you let go, your downfall is imminent. Pressure to remain in the fight. Believing that in this battle to the victor goes the spoils.

The word loss has such a devastatingly negative undertone. We immediately think of something that is destroyed, defeated or dead – something that you can never get back, and never get over. Loss brings to mind pain, shame, and suffering.

We say that we lose loved ones. But, they are not lost. They are in our hearts and in our memories. We may not be able to call them on the phone, but we can still talk. We may not be able to go to the movies or shopping as we once did, but we can still hang out in the corridors of my thoughts. Replaying our moments of laughter and love can help ease the void left bereave by their physical presence. But, they are not lost.

Our favorite sports team may lose a game. Fans become disappointed and depending on the final score; could feel downright ashamed. We may lose our most prized pair of earrings or that perfect shade of pink blouse to match that new pair of shoes. We lose friends that we thought were down like 4 flat tires. We lose jobs that seemed to lead to promising careers. Loss brings about feelings of empty disillusionment.

The effects of loss are powerful. But, what if I told you that sometimes loss is a good thing? There comes a time in our lives when we must take the “L”.

In Hebrews Chapter 1, the Bible tells us to set aside everything and anything that is holding us back. What if the force that’s holding me back is me?  What if my forward progress is hindered by my own inability to let go? What if my fear of giving up is keeping me from my own destiny? Purpose is found in loss.

In order to walk the walk of a pastor’s wife in our own unique calling, we must lose some things that we hold on to like a lifeline. Lose the distress of not living up to someone else’s expectation. Lose the unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves.  Lose the soft skin that can easily be penetrated by cruel words. Lose the need to be a people pleaser. Everyone is just simply not going to be in your corner. Lose the archaic idea of the traditional role of a pastor’s wife. There is no set of step-by-step instructions. Actually, that’s a good thing. It’s one less item you will have to discard. Your walk is unique. Your grace is matchless. Your anointing is unparalleled.

Take the “L”. Lose yourself. Lose your old way of thinking. Allow the mind that is in Christ Jesus to be in you. Lose your own will. Allow His will to become your desire for your life. Since, He already knows the plans that He has for you, just go with His flow.

Go ahead and just quit! I mean just lose why don’t cha!

Stop resisting the changes that God wants to make in your life. Let go of the past that hurt. Let go of the mistakes that set you back. Let go of the fear that keeps you paralyzed. Let go of the confusion that keeps you in a perpetual state of chaos. Let go of the systems that keep cycling back to depression and anxiety.

Take the “L”. Unleash that unused potential that is going to propel you toward your purpose. You can no longer remain the same. New thoughts. New dreams. New faith. New hope.

Fantasia Barrino-Taylor, season 3 winner of American Idol, sings a song that states; sometimes you gotta lose to win. There’s something to be said about losing. Losing weight is beneficial for our physical body. It’s made easier when we change our way of thinking about food, and exercise. We make a lifestyle change that brings great reward.

Imagine losing the guilt and shame of past indiscretions. Envision letting go painful memories. Explore the possibility of embracing your own uniqueness that sets you free to soar outside the limits of fear. Peace, joy, and purpose are some of the rewards given to the biggest loser

It’s time to be a quitter. It’s time to let go. It’s time to take the “L” so that you can walk in victory!